Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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