no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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