I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
