I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I have post one night stand depression
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