Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
