BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
