Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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