Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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