No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
