im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
