You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
