She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize