Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
