I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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