she is the kim kardashian of front butts
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
