I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
