Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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