At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
