PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
