so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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