I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
