So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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