we made out on top of his cat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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