doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
