you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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