Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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