Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
