kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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