i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
