don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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