My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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