Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
