I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
