You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
