I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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