Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
