why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
