We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
