I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
