i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
