okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How does one acquire holy water?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize