whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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