I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
