this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize