Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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