i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
