But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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