haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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