Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
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