sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Randomize
