My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
