why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
