I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
