You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
