Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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