I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
