butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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