Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
