i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
