go do what you do best...puke behind churches
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
