I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
