I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
