I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
