so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
tell me about the fingering
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