maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
