its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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