Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I love you. Go after that dick
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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