life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He shit in the fireplace
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
