Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize