I need help removing her.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
