It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
