how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
