You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
