Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
