Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize