today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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