dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
