This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
