I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
